Passenger Six - Import / Export

Never one to let history teach me anything I decided to get over the debacle of Passenger Five by finding the next Passenger in line. This time, noting that several of my priors were people I had known from childhood, I decided to look farther afield towards a man who I would not have to see again if it all went pear shaped. And so we say "Goodbye pubs, clubs and family gatherings" and "Hello Internet dating".

Passenger Six was an old fashioned English ex-punk with an ex-criminal record and an ex-Australian girlfriend (an ex-girlfriend who was Australian, not a girlfriend who was an ex-Australian). We exchanged photographs, we chatted for hours. I was actually pleased to meet someone who I had no physical contact with and was forced to get to know, and who had to get to know me. We webcammed (a pre-Skype world) so we could see if the photos were legit - so far, so good. He was coming over for a holiday, we decided to meet up and see how things went.

First stumbling block actually came when he rang me so we could chat about the upcoming visit. I had never heard his voice before (pre-Skype remember) and I couldn't understand anything he was saying. A heavy Northern English accent is NOTHING like a London accent. I spent most of my time saying "Huh? Wha? Repeat that please?" I am proud to say that by the time we met in person I was able to interpret most of what he said for my friends - Northern English as a second language :)

The next stumbling block was that despite pictures and webcam he did not look exactly like the guy on the computer. I was a bit startled to find that he was 6' 4" and that his years of fake tanning and gym workouts had left him looking a little...leathery... Still, I am not one to let appearances deter me overmuch and we got on extremely well. He definitely got plus points for taking me to karaoke (this is not the plus points bit) and singing Robbie William's song Angel so brilliantly he suddenly had groupies (this is the plus points bit).

The final stumbling block was that his visit was to include a stop over at his ex-Australian girlfriend's house to collect belongings and finalise the break up. By this point (as you can imagine) I was a little wary of this kind of holiday, so he reassured me of his intention to return by leaving some of his stuff at my house and promising to be back to collect it as soon as the nightmare visit to the ex was over.

Fast forward a couple of days and...yeah, you saw this coming didn't you?...I get a message saying he "accidentally slept with his ex and wasn't sure which of us he wanted to be with". Fed up with the whole thing I told him he didn't have a choice. He could stay with the ex or be with no-one, I was no longer available (Straight to The Bus, Sunshine). He waited a little while then messaged to say he didn't want to be with either of us, then a day or so later changed his profile pic on facebook to include a picture of the two of them together. Nice one.

So what happened next? (Aside from me becoming very fed up with men?) Mr Ex-lover relocated to Australia and moved in with the previous ex. I would love to say they lived happily ever after (ha! no I wouldn't) but there is a reason they had broken up the last time - she cheated on him (some may say just desserts) and, surprisingly enough, you know what happened? She cheated on him again. Should have stayed on The Bus, shouldn't she? Just saying...

And Mr Ex-lover's stuff? Mostly DVDs, which I happily added to the collection left by Mr Married Cheating Bastard. At least they are entertaining.