This is the Passenger that makes people think I am making up my Passengers. I'm not though. He is 100% real and 100% really this much of a dick.
Passenger Five I had known since we were in Primary School together. We grew up together. He had a crush on me since he was about 8 years old. We had not seen each other in years and obviously had grown up considerably in the mean time. As a friend of my little brother this guy had not been a blip on my radar when we were children, as an adult things were a little different.
I invited him over to catch up and reminisce about old times. I told him I was single, he told me he was single. I told him I was getting divorced, he told me he had been seeing someone but they had not seen each other for about 3 months. Ok, so both single and interested. We began seeing each other - dinner, phone calls, texting, movie nights, it was fun. He was gentlemanly, he was understanding, he was polite, I knew and was friends with his parents - an excellent combination, no? No.
This Passenger taught me an important lesson. No matter how great a guy seems if he tells you he is an arsehole BELIEVE HIM. It is not modesty, it is not fishing for compliments, it is HONESTY. RUN FROM HIM, DO IT NOW.
Passenger Five started talking about a holiday he was taking to the Phillipines. He then started talking about the woman he was going to be seeing when he was there. He then mentioned that they had not seen each other in 3 months because she lived in the Phillipines...re-read that earlier paragraph, the one about being single...uh huh, you guessed it. Not so much hadn't seen her for 3 months as hadn't SEEN her for 3 months. He then started telling me that they had talked about marriage, but he liked me and had done for so long and...hmmm...decisions to make about what to do, and he had to go see her and talk and decide.
You think you know what happens now, but it's worse than that, it really is. You see, he went on the holiday as Mr Cheating Bastard and came back as Mr Married Cheating Bastard. Let me just say that again, he went away on holiday and GOT MARRIED WHILE HE WAS THERE.
Not only did he do this, he didn't tell me when he got home, I found out through a happy (ignorant of recent developments) family member who called up and said "Hey! Did you hear little dude you grew up with got married on his holiday? So romantic!"
This story gets better, seriously. I happened to be shopping in a store where he worked and he came over to talk to me. I say "So, I hear you got married. Thought I'd stop in and buy you a toaster." He said "Yeah, I wasn't sure if I should, but I asked my Mum and SHE DIDN'T TELL ME NOT TO" (My caps) Is this the best reason you have ever heard of for getting married or what?
And now for the "what happened next" portion of the story.
1. He didn't tell the people he worked with he was married. Why not? Hmmm...
2. She needed money for her sick father and had to stay in the Phillipines to look after him
3. She NEVER came to Australia to be with her new husband...awwww....poor Mr Married Cheating Bastard
4. He DARED to contact me and suggest we get together again (sorry Buddy you are on The Bus and The Bus disintegrated in your section and then all my friends reconstructed it and we disintegrated it again with our mentally projected hatred of you).
5. I kept all the DVDs he left at my house and I enjoyed watching them and I still do, and when I do I laugh at how his wife NEVER came to Australia.
Bitter and twisted? No. Satisfied that he got what he deserved? Hell Yeah!
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